This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
