Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My vagina just recognized that song.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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