I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you will always have a special place in my vag
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
