Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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