so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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