I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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