yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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