what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
this hospital has no fireball
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
