We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
