is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I could make wine with my vomit
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
