Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
