Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
