guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
