if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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