i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
