I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
