you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
