Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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