tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Alive.
So much puke
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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