your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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