I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
