if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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