Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
