You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize