I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
