DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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