Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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