Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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