My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
