i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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