apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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