i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
