you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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