They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
