well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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