So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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