Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
