I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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