She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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