we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
