North Korea, Best Korea!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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