She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I want to be your penis for a week.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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