thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I smell like Dick and happiness
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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