he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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