yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
