I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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