garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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