Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I lost the right to judge tonight
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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