your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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