Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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